The breakdown of her relationship with Shaquille O’Neal is the recurring theme of Shaunie Henderson’s memoir, Undefeated. With the benefit of hindsight, Shaunie is able to reveal the problems that were visible from the beginning but she ignored them back then till their 2011 divorce.

She wrote that she fell into a pattern of denial while turning her focus on her kids. Yet she missed a glaring issue regarding her kids until she officially separated from Shaq.

Apart from her divorce proceedings, moving in with her parents, and worrying about finances, she had to break the news to their five kids. Their reaction, however, blindsided her.

After filing for divorce a second time in 2009, Shaunie left Florida with their five kids – Myles, Shareef, Amirah, Shaqir, and Me’Arah – and moved to Los Angeles. Her parents still lived there and she moved the kids there during divorce proceedings.

That would take months and she would have to eventually break the news to the kids that their parents were separating. At that time, Myles would be around 10 and Me’Arah was three.

She told them bluntly, “We’re not going to be married anymore.” But, “there were no tears,” sadness or anger.

They wanted to know why but were overall indifferent, which “alarmed” Shaunie, as per her book, Undefeated.

She took them to a therapist who agreed that their initial reaction was uncommon. But the therapist soon figured out what was happening.

“They’re fine,” the therapist told a hassled Shaunie. “They’re just kind of disconnected from their father. What I get from this, ‘Oh, we won’t see him every day? Okay, business as usual.’” It indicates something Shaq’s admitted in the past too.

At the peak of his NBA career between teams, he wasn’t present with his kids as much. They were mostly based in LA and later in Florida, while Shaq spent the later years of his career in Phoenix, Boston, and Cleveland.

As with any pro-athlete dad, he was traveling between arenas with the team and family didn’t always come along. As per Shaunie’s writing, instead of feeling his absence, the kids got used to it.

“It was the fact that they never had the foundation of a happy home, so they weren’t losing one,” she wrote, expressing how that alleviated some guilt she felt. She even called it a blessing.

via Getty

Apart from not seeing much of their dad, Shaq and Shaunie’s kids had witnessed their separation.

Their youngest, Me’Arah, was born in 2006 and all seemed well until Shaq filed for divorce first in 2007.

Shaunie appealed for three months for reconciliation and they called off the divorce in 2008. However, the reconciliation fell apart in a year and Shaunie filed for divorce in 2009 along with sole custody of the kids.

Shaquille O’Neal is closer to his kids now

She mentions in the book that she didn’t demand Shaq’s assets except for him to continue his responsibilities towards the kids, which she confirmed he did. They reached a settlement in 2010 and Shaq paid $10,000 for each child along with spousal support.

Shaq’s a better co-parent than he used to be. He makes it to his kids’ games and gets along with Shaunie’s husband, Keion Henderson.

The three of them were Me’Arah’s escorts on her senior night, the day she committed to Florida, presenting her McDonald’s All-American jersey on TNT and are getting emotional as the youngest O’Neal leaves the nest.