But only Bobby Witt Jr. plays defense.

Colorado Rockies v New York Yankees
Colorado Rockies v New York Yankees / Jim McIsaac/GettyImages

The New York Yankees went down to Washington on Monday and managed to stumble into one of their most fun wins of the season.

During what could’ve been an otherwise mundane nine innings against an almost-there-wait-til-2025 Nationals team debuting top prospect Dylan Crews, fans instead witnessed:

The continuation of Leadoff Gleyber’s breakout, reaching base to start a game for the sixth time in six contests with a dinger
Alex Verdugo running knee-first into the left field wall to make a no-regard-for-human-health catch
Anthony Volpe piling up three hits in his first three at-bats, putting his head at risk with a helmet-free slide
Nestor Cortes working out of a second-and-third, no-out jam whiffing CJ Abrams, Crews, and former Yankees farmhand Andres Chaparro with what might’ve been his best pitch of the season
Aaron Judge’s 1,000th career hit (a ninth-inning laser)
And, of course, Judge combatting the “Bobby Witt Plays Defense, Though” allegations with a home run robbery double play that boggled minds

After the game, Judge’s teammates couldn’t help but gush about his leap over the line to take a vengeance homer out of Chaparro’s line in the box score. Verdugo first wished that Judge had given his own spectacular catch a little more time to breathe before disrespectfully topping it.

Alex Verdugo, Austin Wells discuss Aaron Judge’s defense in postgame spotlight after Yankees win vs. Nationals

We might’ve solved Verdugo’s mysterious batting glove allergy, but we’ll never fix his jealousy problem. It’s in his blood. Sad.

When Austin Wells was pressed for comment, he could barely get to the end of a sentence without dropping an F bomb on live television.

“Holy cow” works, too. Good pause.

Judge, a one-of-a-kind megalodon, hit another career peak on Monday, saving a home run and spurring a relatively comfortable victory while also cataloguing his 1,000th career hit — a ridiculous 308 of which are home runs. That number not lining up for anyone else? Of course it isn’t! There’s never been anyone like him, peaking at 32 midway through a season that began with a .207/.340/.414 slash line in March/April that made the dregs of the internet wonder if his toe injury from 2023 would affect him forever.

There’s still time to delete those takes, which became stale quicker than Verdugo’s catch was overshadowed (sorry, man).