It turns out abandoning your young child at Christmas (twice!) has major psychological repercussions.

Remember Kevin McAllister? Sweet, resourceful, cheese pizza-loving Kevin McAllister from Home Alone and its arguably even better sequel Home Alone 2: Lost in New York?

Well what do you think Kevin’s doing now, 25 years after first being abandoned by his family at Christmastime? If you guessed Uber driver, you’re close.

Macaulay Culkin has decided to have some fun with his most iconic role in the first episode of the satirical web series :DRYVRS (which features a different driver from an Uber-like service for each installment) and the result is something that’s more scary than funny.

Kevin McAllister is ingrained into our brains as this adorable little hero, but if you really started to think about how the experiences of Home Alone and Home Alone 2 would effect the life of this kid growing up, you’d end up with something like this video.

Indeed, the grown-up Kevin has an unhappy marriage and is plagued by nightmares of Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern’s home invaders.

The only positive to come out of the experience is that he’s now incredibly resourceful when dealing with attackers, although perhaps Kevin has a tendency to take things a bit too far…

This is actually a pretty funny update on the Home Alone character, and it’s nice to see that Culkin is game to not only reprise the role (just in time for Christmas, no less), but also acknowledge the reality of the troubling issues at the center of that franchise’s premise—which, if you start to think about it, is pretty messed up.

Take a look at the video below (via ScreenCrush), but fair warning for those planning a rewatch with your family during the holidays: you may never see Home Alone or Home Alone 2: Lost in New York the same way again.