Frances Bean Cobain Writes Moving Tribute on 30th Anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s Death: ‘I Wish I Could’ve Known My Dad’

Frances Bean Cobain in April 2018; Kurt Cobain in December 1993. PHOTO: JON KOPALOFF/FILMMAGIC; JEFF KRAVITZ/FILMMAGIC

Frances Bean Cobain is opening up about her grief on the 30th anniversary of her father Kurt Cobain’s death.

As Friday, April 5 marks 30 years since the Nirvana frontman died by suicide at age 27, his only daughter — whom he welcomed in August 1992 with wife Courtney Love — shared a moving tribute to Instagram on Friday.

Frances Bean, 31, posted a carousel of images, including throwbacks of Kurt from his childhood, photos of the father-daughter duo from “the last time [they] were together” and a black-and-white shot of his hands. Text revealed that the latter was taken by R.E.M.’s Michael Stipe, who was a close friend of the grunge star and Frances Bean’s godfather.

In her thoughtful caption, the artist wrote beautifully of how she’s often been told that her hands resemble her father’s. She also reflected upon feeling as though she wished that she could’ve known her father more closely, as she was just under 18 months old when he died.

“30 years ago my dad’s life ended,” Frances Bean’s post began. “The 2nd & 3rd photo capture the last time we were together while he was still alive.”

She continued, “His mom Wendy would often press my hands to her cheeks & say, with a lulling sadness, ‘you have his hands’. She would breathe them in as if it were her only chance to hold him just a little bit closer, frozen in time. I hope she’s holding his hands wherever they are.”

“In the last 30 years my ideas around loss have been in a continuous state of metamorphosing,” the model wrote. “The biggest lesson learned through grieving for almost as long as I’ve been conscious, is that it serves a purpose. The duality of life & death, pain & joy, yin & yang, need to exist along side each other or none of this would have any meaning. It is the impermanent nature of human existence which throws us into the depths of our most authentic lives. As It turns out, there is no greater motivation for leaning into loving awareness than knowing everything ends.”

Kurt Cobain and his daugther Frances Bean Cobain at the Universal Ampitheater in Universal City, California. KEVIN MAZUR/WIREIMAGE

Her tribute continued, “I wish I could’ve known my Dad. I wish I knew the cadence of his voice, how he liked his coffee or the way it felt to be tucked in after a bedtime story. I always wondered if he would’ve caught tadpoles with me during the muggy Washington summers, or if he smelled of Camel Lights & strawberry nesquik (his favorites, I’ve been told).”

“But there is also deep wisdom being on an expedited path to understanding how precious life is,” Frances Bean added. “He gifted me a lesson in death that can only come through the LIVED experience of losing someone. It’s the gift of knowing for certain, when we love ourselves & those around us with compassion, with openness, with grace, the more meaningful our time here inherently becomes.”

The singer also mentioned that she’s held onto a letter her father wrote her before she was born that includes a line that reads, “Where you go or wherever I go, I will always be with you.” She shared, “He kept this promise because he is present in so many ways. Whether it’s by hearing a song or through the hands we share, in those moments I get to spend a little time with my dad & he feels transcendent. ✨”

Frances Bean concluded by adding a touching note for others who have experienced loss. “To anyone who has wondered what it would’ve looked like to live along side the people they have lost, I’m holding you in my thoughts today. The meaning of our grief is the same 🕊️🌅,” she said.

Kurt Cobain and his daughter Frances Bean Cobain in old home footage shared to Frances Bean’s Instagram Stories.FRANCES BEAN COBAIN/INSTAGRAM

On her Instagram Stories, Frances Bean also posted a vintage home video of herself as a baby being held by her dad. Kurt appears to be overjoyed to be spending time with his daughter in the footage and is captured lovingly saying to her, “Wanna barf in my mouth again? Three times a charm.”

“Are you getting all of this?” the rock star asks Love, who is behind the camera and responds with a yes.

“Aren’t we lucky?” Kurt sweetly adds.

Kurt Cobain.JEFF KRAVITZ/FILMMAGIC

Last year on the anniversary of Kurt’s death, his wife, 59, shared the same photo of his hands that Frances Bean posted on Friday. The Hole frontwoman similarly wrote a heartfelt message about how much she loved them.

Love wrote, “I love beautiful hands, it’s the first thing I look at in another. I love that the only photograph of Kurt that @michaelstipe took, despite being a lover of all sorts of beauty … Michael saw these hands.”

The musician also described the photo she posted as “one of the only images (or sounds/ tastes etc) that makes me miss him deeply” and noted how much she loves and misses him.

Last October, Frances Bean and Riley Hawk, the son of Tony Hawk, were married in a ceremony that was officiated by Stipe, 64.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.