Why Lilibet was so important to The Queen: As Meghan and Harry’s daughter turns three, NATASHA LIVINGSTONE explains how the happy day could trigger memories tinged with sadness for the Royals

Today, in sunny California, one very special little girl will be celebrating her third birthday.

Lilibet is a British princess – but one who is growing up thousands of miles away from her royal relatives due to years of family strife.

No doubt any troubles will be put to one side today as her parents, Prince Harry and Meghan, shower her with affection at their £11.4million [$14.5million] mansion in Montecito.

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But there is one thing about the adorable youngster that is likely to bring up claim and counter-claim for many years to come, albeit through no fault of her own: her name.

For Lilibet, the childhood name by which the late Queen was known by those closest to her, was an unusual and deeply personal choice.

According to Robert Hardman’s recent biography of Charles III, the late Queen had rarely been so angry as when Harry and Meghan claimed they had her approval when they named their daughter.

The Mail’s royal editor Rebecca English previously reported that The Queen was so upset by the Sussexes’ decision that she told aides: ‘I don’t own the palaces, I don’t own the paintings, the only thing I own is my name. And now they’ve taken that.

It was undoubtedly not the reaction that Harry and Meghan intended.

But, after her duty as monarch, family was the most important thing to Queen Elizabeth.

And this was symbolised by her childhood nickname, Lilibet – a precious reminder of her happiest times.

Used only by the closest of friends and immediate family, it was a diminutive that took the Queen back to her earliest days growing up at 145 Piccadilly.

This was a time before draughty Buckingham Palace, when her father was merely the shy Duke of York and when, together with her mother and baby sister Margaret Rose, they were a happy family looking forward to the future.

It was just ‘us four,’ as her father, George VI, would later call them.

Writing to his daughter after her marriage to Philip, he said that young Lilibet should ‘remember that your old home is still yours…do come back to it as much and as often as possible.’

He continued: ‘Our family, us four, the “Royal Family”, must remain together – with additions of course at suitable moments!!’

By then, the Abdication of her uncle, Edward VIII, had changed everything, forcing her father step into the monarch’s shoes at great personal cost.

Things changed again with the war, which created a new world where public displays of duty by the Royal Family took on monumental importance. The King wore uniform from beginning to end.

And the situation transformed irrevocably when her father died on February 6, 1952, aged just 56, a death perhaps hastened by the pressures and responsibilities of unexpected Kingship.

The late Queen routinely extended her Christmas visits to Sandringham until this date, an act of remembrance that said much about Elizabeth’s love for her father – and sorrow at his loss.

It was, perhaps, a remainder to her, also, of her days as the laughing little princess who charmed irascible grandfather King George V into playing horses on the floor, allowing her to pull his beard.

Prince Harry wrote in his memoir that he had his own special relationship with the Queen, which he likely intended to honour through his daughter.

But by doing so, the name has been transformed from a symbol of family unity to one scarred by cross-Atlantic anger.

Today, there will be none of that tension on display as Lilibet passes another milestone with her five-year-old brother Prince Archie and her parents.

There is no indication though that Lilibet is going to meet any of her father’s family any time soon.

King Charles had had just one ‘very emotional’ meeting with his youngest grandchild – during the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee in June 2022.

But Lilibet is not thought to have met her uncle and aunt Prince William and the Princess of Wales, or their children Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis – her cousins.

And there is absolutely no sign that the deep rift between Harry and his brother, William, will heal to the point where any family reunion will take place any time soon.